Everyone has someone who touches their lives and inspires them. Inspiration can take many forms, be it honesty, integrity, work ethic or positive attitude. Any of the qualities which are part of someone’s character that inspire you. Qualities that make you try a little harder or simply cause you stop and think. Perhaps a reality check to make you stop and count your blessings. Gifts and blessing take many forms as well, and we sometimes get so caught up in our own world that we miss them, or simply take things for granted.
Our inspiration:
My wife met a co-worker several years ago. They quickly became friends and saw each other both socially and at the workplace. Her name is Christina. Christina has Lupus. She has a type known as systemic lupus erythematosus, or SLE.
Lupus is a horrible disease without a cure. It is autoimmune disease which results in your own body’s immune system producing antibodies which attack your tissues. It commonly attacks kidneys and lungs, while other organs are susceptible including the brain. It is often fatal.
Christina has battled with this for years. When my wife met her, Christina was on chemo and had lost all of her hair. Christina has model looks and made the best of it wearing cool scarves and hats. During that time she had met someone and was dating.
As with all friendships, people get involved in other things, be it raising teenagers, or job changes, and you simply lose touch. Our case was all of the above. Kathy and Christina had not seen each other in several years. One day at the local mall they re-connected. It was just like yesterday, different conversations, but the bond and connection was still very much alive. Christina was now married, still battled with Lupus and bouts of chemo… but all was good. Funny how life points you in the right directions… My lovely wife had been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. While not as serious or life threatening as Lupus, it is still a very debilitating disease and exhibits similar symptoms. So now they had even more in common.
We connected socially with spouses for happy hour and diners; however my wife Kathy and Christina became even closer… They were more like sisters than friends.
We recieved a call one evening that Christina was in the hospital. It was a pretty serious Lupus attack and this time targeted her lungs. She fell into a coma and went down hill very fast. We were told that she likely only had about a 50% chance of survival. She spent over 3 weeks in a coma. One of the things that inspires me is how tough she is for someone who weighs less that 100 pounds soaking wet. She fought and she fought hard. She survived and her Lupus was once again under control. A total of 5 weeks in the hospital took its toll. Her body had atrophied to the point where she had to learn to walk again. After several weeks in rehab and physical therapy, she was once again home… Kathy and Christina became even closer. Things were well for quite a while her Lupus decided it was time to attack her kidneys. Christina struggled with end stage kidney failure, fighting hard, but the Lupus won. Christina was now on dialysis. Dialysis means that you are connected to a machine which filters the toxins from your blood, replacing the functions of the kidney. Most are connected 3 day per week and 4 hours per day. It is very hard on your body. Christina was often very sick and would have bouts of extremely low blood pressure. On a positive note, her Lupus was in complete remission due to a controversial procedure and the help of a very good doctor. Still not a good quality of life.
Christina played the hand she was dealt. Always a positive attitude and seldom caplained. She refused to get on an organ donor list, and held hope for stem cell or medical break through. She thought it selfish to accept a kidney from someone, as it would put them at risk. So five years… no pee and a very poor quality of life.
During this time her husband, her soul mate, decided that the ‘for better or for worse’ commitment was just too hard… So he shacked up with an ex-stripper… See my Gentleman’s Club blog… She was actually a reformed stripper, who found her way into Real Estate. Christina’s husband found the secret too difficult to manage so he told her. Christina’s life was shattered. Her health failing and her support system gone. Her reason for fighting so hard and survival were her family and her husband. So the qualities I speak of… integrity, honesty… he has none of them and is a useless piece of shit. Have a nice life!.
So Christina, on disability filed for divorce. She found a highly recommended attorney, Mary who spoke at a local woman’s center. Mary is another piece of shit. We found that she talked a very good game, preying on women who were in need, only to be in it for the money. Self serving bitch. She did a very poor job of representing Christina, and in the end, left her financially exposed, not taking care of basic issues, and charged her over $20,000. Christina is on disability with a monthly income which is far less than her attorney’s car payment.
Christina struggled with decision. She seeked much counsel, exploring all options including, simply unplugging and letting the toxins end her life. Per constant pressure from family and physicians, she decided to at least get on the Organ Donor list. A list with is typically 5 or more year of waiting. Odds were that she would not make it for ten years on ‘D’. Something we all knew but seldom spoke of. My wife was tested as were Christina’s sister and others, most of who donated blood when Christina was in a coma, so the antigen count was too high. My wife was denied due to her Fibro condition, as it is somewhat related and like Lupus an autoimmune disease.
Months passed and the conversation was always positive… ‘When I get my TP, I want to travel… I want to date, and plans were all made, however no donor.
One day her brother in law decided to get tested. He is in his 60’s, a bit over weight, enjoys cigars, beer and poker. He frequents Applebee’s restaurant, so the healthy diet factor is… well not in his favor. Odds were not good. Amazingly enough he was a match…a good match, however far from perfect.
We were all very excited; however I did not dare tread on any conversations with my wife about Christina’s chances and risks… I know we both thought about, but never discussed. It was in our thoughts… what if she did not make it, what if there were complications, what if her brother- in-law had complications… what if what if??
The surgery went without issue. Christina did remarkable, and her brother in-law the same. We were all so very excited. Text book transplant and no issues. She was in recovery and we were able to see her. Then the unexpected. She was rushed back into surgery with a bleeding artery. She was bleeding out. So two ‘major’ surgeries in one day. She survived, however it took its toll. She is a fighter. More complications and more surgeries. She was the talk of the transplant floor… ‘This is not the way it is supposed to go’ conversations with nurses and doctors. Finally everything fell into place. I must give props to Life Link… what an amazing organization!!!
So I had not seen Christina in a while. My wife sees her all of the time and remarks on just how good she looks and is doing… getting better everyday! Her new kidney is working great. Her brother in-law made a remarkable recover and is back to his old lifestyle. He is a big guy so the kidney had to be ‘stuffed’ into Christina and for a while she could visibly see the outline… she referred to her new kidney as ‘her fat bitch’
So this past weekend, we made plans to see a touring band called Papa Grows Funk. They were performing at a local dive called Skipper’s Smokehouse. Christina wanted to meet us there. This was the first I have seen her since the transplant. She looks amazing!!!!! She is so beautiful both inside and out. She actually had a few beers with us, and peed and peed and peed!!!! A very cool accomplishment. Something we take for granted.
So inspiration takes many forms… When I think something is a challenge or too difficult, or when I get stressed at work – a very regular occurrence, I need only to look at our close friend to put things in perspective.
Life is a gift… Family and friends are a gift… never take it for granted.
Christina on the left.
